WEDDING NOTES™ – What Should I Do?

Here at Bridal Novias we gladly help our brides with awkward situations that don’t necessarily make their way into etiquette books.  In spite of all the advice available from so many resources, brides like to have an experienced specialist – a knowledgeable consultant, a certified wedding planner- available for face-to-face problem solving.  Our staff is available for your unexpected problems and issues.  Every wedding is unique and so can the problems presented by the people factor. This is a question we are repeatedly asked.

How do I handle guests who have responded to our invitations and state on the reply card that the number of guests planning to attend is larger than the number invited?

If your count and budget can handle the number of “extras” indicated, chalk it up to bad manners of those guests and just greet them with as much good grace as you can muster.  If your count is already pushing you over the budget and you truly cannot absorb the extra folks, we suggest that you turn to your maid of honor, tactful bridesmaid or family member who knows the offending guests well.  Ask this person to call the guests in question and explain that the bride would love to be able to expand her guest list, but unfortunately it is not possible.  The reason?  Budget, time or space concerns!  If the person is offended – and some will be – they are not true friends.  They are the ones who have overstepped the etiquette boundaries. 

Often, the “extras” are uninvited children.  You can keep this from happening if the reception card reads, “adult only reception”.  Or you can arrange for children to be at a “separate” reception somewhere in the same venue.  You provide a number of “sitters”, a giant screen TV, movies, lots of craft items and separate menu handled by family members.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Do Couples Still Register?

The answer is a resounding yes!  What has changed somewhat is the variety of stores and shops that now provide a bridal registry service.  We have learned that many brides appreciate a little advice on what to do before they make registration selections.  In spite of the publicity being given to some celebrity brides and their “news making” registry choices, the act of selecting registry sources and gift ideas are not just “gift grabs” as one of our brides recently stated.  Properly used, gift registries are a true service for your wedding guests.  Guests have the assurance of knowing they are giving a gift that will be cherished, as well as the comfort of knowing that their gift is less likely to be duplicated.

Our first bit of advice is to reassure the bride that registry is “still being done”.

Next we remind the bride that the items chosen will be a part of their lives for years to come, so choices should not be made in haste – nor should they be made without the groom’s input. 

We urge couples to make their choices in a timely manner so that friends and relatives have time to purchase the gifts for pre wedding events as well as the wedding itself. 

If you have many friends and family who live in a different area from you and the groom, we advise our brides to include a gift registry source with a national reach.  Most retailers have on line ordering, shipping and registry recording.  Today, most registries are electronic and the bride’s choices are recorded for her along with guest purchases as they are made.

Please don’t let anyone advise you that it is ok to include registry information in your invitation.  IT IS NOT!  Many things may have changed about weddings, but this has not been one of them.  It has always been in poor taste and remains so.   Because most brides create their own wedding web site, you can certainly list registry sites there.

Today’s gift registries may be more sophisticated than the early versions, but the goal of getting information to your guests and helping them make a wonderful selection for you is the same.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Time Management

Here at Bridal Novias we assist our brides with all aspects of their wedding plans.  One of our continuing requests is for help in managing the time between the ceremony and the reception. 

One of our first suggestions is that the travel time for guests moving from the location of the ceremony to the start of the reception be minimized.  Take it into account when booking the reception venue.  Guests shouldn’t have to drive more that 20-30 minutes.

We urge our brides to take as many of their photographs as possible prior to the ceremony and to minimize the number to be taken after the ceremony.   Insure that guests who arrive at the reception site before the wedding party, are greeted by the official host and hostess of the reception.  The names of these hosts should be listed in the program.

While awaiting the arrival of the wedding group, the guests should be served beverages and appetizers.  Music should be playing when the guests arrive.  Be sure that a coat check is available, that the gift table is in plain sight with a person assigned to manage the table.  Do have someone available to help with seating plans.

Once the bridal entourage arrives at the reception site, the bandleader or maitre d’ or reception host should ask the seated guests to stand while he/she introduces the party.  Since the bride and groom are the evening’s stars, they should be introduced last. Introductions and entrances flow in this order:  first the parents of the bride, then the parents of the groom, followed by the “little people” (depending on their ages), bridesmaids and groomsmen, and the maid of honor and best man.  Once the bridal party is in place, then the bride and groom are introduced and make their grand entrance.

Make sure that the names are double checked for pronunciation and that information is passed on to the person in charge or reception host.